Arisan, Batagor, and Father's Confessions

Tangerang, 27 April 2025 - Sunday afternoons are usually a quiet time in my house. But last weekend, there was an unexpected incident that made the atmosphere a little tense—because of batagor and an unfulfilled hope.

That afternoon, my parents went to a social gathering with their friends. I was left alone at home to look after the house. Nothing strange happened—until hunger started to come in the evening.

Because there was no heavy food at home, I started to have high hopes: maybe, when they came home, my parents would bring delicious food. Padang rice, grilled chicken, or anything that could fill my stomach. But unfortunately, all they brought was a pack of batagor and cake from the social gathering. There was no heavy food like I had imagined.

With a little disappointment, I asked, “Why didn’t you buy some food, Dad?” From there our conversation became serious.

“Your mother never wants to be taken out to eat,” said my father, this time in a cold tone. He continued his complaints that had always been the same about how his mother always refused to eat out with various reasons, from thinking about the children at home, to feeling too old to eat at restaurants.

That small incident that night was the culmination of something that had been held back all this time. Father felt disappointed because his desire to just eat out with his wife was always met with rejection.

For me, this was a moment of reflection: it turns out, simple things like eating out can be important in a husband and wife relationship.

Who would have thought, from the hope of Padang rice, I actually witnessed how communication and small attentions can have a big impact on a family. Maybe, next week, I will invite Mother and Father to eat out—so there will be no more batagor wars at home.